i permit you to call me
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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