Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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