I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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