DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
