is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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