escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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