But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I skipped work to stalk him.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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