shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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