I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Pooping to opera.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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