Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
