I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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