how do flat chested girls get laid?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
