he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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