I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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