And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
