bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
