im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
