I love black thongs
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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