I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
