the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she looked like the before picture.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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