if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
