Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
