Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
