True but thats because hes a fetus.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
