I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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