chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
