I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
