Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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