We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
