Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
