girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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