I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
