Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
