her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
