i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
