ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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