Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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