I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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