I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
