I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
