How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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