If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
