How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
