He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
