doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
