matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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