how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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