nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
