Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
