Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
